Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Oswald Expedition; Ozzy's List

I am on assignment in Helen, Georgia, scouting areas that may hold evidence of Bigfoot. My dog Ozzy is coordinating this mission from Bigfoot Central's headquarters located in North McDuffie County, GA. (that's just above Thomson for those of you who don't know any better... and there is no "P" in our "Thomson").

Today I received the preliminary list of items our fearless leader deems necessary to embark on our expedition.  The list includes things such as camping gear, food items, toiletries, and other necessities for surviving in the wild.  Those items strictly for Bigfoot research include trail cams, night vision equipment, plastic bags (for fiber and stool sample collection).  I was most curious about the last two items:  4 cases of Bud Light, and 10 Dominos Pizzas.  I asked Ozzy why they were on the list, and his answer was simple... Saquatch Bait.

Right about now I'm thinking the only thing we'll attract to our cameras will be half the Rednecks in White County.

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