Tuesday, November 29, 2011

"Momma Can't Build a Fire"!

My dog Ozzy was complaining to me that his Momma's fire building skills are lacking. Our wood burning stove is the ticket for relief from the cold weather, but only one of us is able to sucessfully and safely get a fire burning in it. Ozzy's initial attempt would have probably set McDuffie County on fire, so he has been forbidden to try again.

My wife can do many things, but this is not one of them. Perhaps my teaching skills are lacking, since I was obviously uable to communicate proper instructions in basic firestarter skills. Poor woman thinks "match...check; wood...check; stove... check". Forget kindling wood, since she goes straight for the big stuff. Ozzy's constant harassment doesn't help matters either. They both question how one match can set an entire forest to burn, but they can't cause a fire to ignite in our stove.

Ozzy suggested that fire starting be pemanently assigned to me (thanks, Ozzy), since I'm so good at it. It makes me wonder what other chores have been sent my way in this fashion. If I fell off the planet, my family just might fall apart. Ozzy says one thing is for sure... Momma can't build a fire.

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