Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"Over the Hill! Happy Birthday Old Man!"

It is September 28th and my dog Ozzy harassed me the entire day. It wouldn't have been such an ordeal if he made a few off-handed remarks about my 51st birthday. Instead, he took cheap shots at me every chance he could. The problem is I heard most of them when I turned 40 (the much anticipated year of the fabulous "finger exam"), and every year following. However, his referrence to my need for a supply of "Depends" was the last straw.

Why is a man considered "over the hill" after a certain age. What exactly does "over the hill" mean? What hill are folks referring to? Does the idea of "Boot Hill" play into this unreasonable vein of thought? I want to know what IDIOT came up with the concept of a downhill trek after 40. I never felt I was walking uphill to begin with. In fact, I was always under the impression that the way up was more difficult than the way down. I mean, does a car engine strain more to run uphill or downhill? As far as I'm concerned, if I have spent half a century plugging away to get to the top of the hill, I'm going to have a blast coasting on the downhill leg of the journey.

Ozzy has been staring at me during this entire rant. He says I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Hmmm. Is that up or over the Mole Hill?

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