After yesterday's humiliating defeat at the hands of the dreaded Squirrel Kingdom, our home now resembles the Pentagon preparing for war. Personnel running to and fro, orders barked out as Ozzy and his canine squad make preparations to strike back at the "force of evil" lurking in the woods which surround our home.
At the time of this writing Chrissy and Spazz are posted as lookouts, peering through the windows for signs of what Ozzy refers to as the "enemas". Any movement in the woodline is greeted with a glaring teeth and a hardy growl. Just moments ago an acorn dislodged, landing on our roof and causing the dogs to scurry for cover with cries of "Incoming" echoing through the house.! This is serious business, and anyone who doubts a dog's resolve to maintain order in the yard is sadly mistaken. Ozzy says this bushy tail act of aggression must be answered, and in this counterattack all squirrels will be terminated with extreme prejudice!
Ever since WWII started in our back yard, the dogs have sought to deliver a final devastating blow, and I have sought ways to avoid further violence, offering to negotiate peace between the two sides. I told Ozzy his idea of terminating all squirrels is genocide. However, Ozzy argued that he and his little Ranger Unit are well beyond sentimental feelings, and if it takes "gingerale" to eliminate the enemy, so be it (see what I have to contend with?). It makes me wonder what conditions will have to be met in order for things to return to normal. I do know the dogs will not give up chasing the squirrels... "It's what we do", they say. Ozzy says if I can pull this off, bringing peace to the Middle East would be a walk in the park.
All I am saying is, Give peace a chance!
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