My dog Ozzy and I watched Channel 12 News this morning, and he was so impressed with the weather report that he decided he could be a meteorolgist. I thought little of his statement until he put his plan to practice. He insisted on proving he could do a better and more accurate job of predicting and reporting the weather, and asked for my assistance to prove his theory.
Ozzy had me pull a chair from the kitchen table and place it in front of the television. I sat in the chair and watched as Ozzy stood on the chair and rendered a rather animated report in front of a blank screen. He swayed his front legs in a fashion similar to a meteorologist demonstrating sweeping winds and fronts bearing down on the continent. Without any limits Ozzy took great liberties to expand on the report we watched this morning. Rain and cold fronts were replaced by more dramatic climate changes that, if true, would be rather frightening.
The end result of the report is far more elaborate than fact. Ozzy's report includes three menacing tornadoes, a line of Hurricanes bearing down on the CSRA, flooding on a mass scale, all of which will cause the Strom Thurmond Dam to burst. Augusta is in big trouble (an earthquake was included in his dire prediciton). When it was over, he asked me how he did. I was too scared to speak. This wasn't a simple weather report... this was Judgement Day!
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