A couple of months ago my podiatrist gave me an injection in my heel during a scheduled office visit. My dog Ozzy went with me, and sat in the waiting room while I reclined in a chair and underwent my proceedure. Ozzy had a great time needling me about that incident (pun intended). However, while he waited for me in the lobby, Ozzy read an article in some magazine concerning evolution.
On the way home I fielded questions from my inquisitive canine about Charles Darwin's theory, and explained the various ideas some hold as to the age of the earth, the beginning of the universe, and the origins of man. He asked about the artist's rendering of the evolutionary chart which shows man's progress from the primordial ooze to the fish, frog, monkey, and ultimately an upright intelligent human.
Ozzy finally decided to put his own artistic talents on display by drawing my evolutionary chart. He grabbed a piece of paper and a box of crayons and began gleefully working on the origins of Daddy. It took him more than an hour, during which I found him laughing on several ocassions. I couldn't wait to see the outcome of his little project, and was quite suprised at how well he did.
According to Ozzy, my chart starts with a small green spot, develops into a one-eyed blob which later grows feet and walks itself into a hideous little toad. From there my ancestry stretches into a hunched but upright hybrid between a lizard and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. After the creature comes something that Ozzy refers to as a Go-rilla, and then of course a slick-headed redneck with funny ears holding a motorcycle helmet. I must admit Ozzy outdid himself on this one. Not bad for his first attempt at art.
I was curious about one thing on my evolutionary chart... the little green spot that started it all. When I asked Ozzy what it was, he smiled at me and replied, "Oh...that's a booger".
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