I'm not sure what happened or how I contracted this little ailment, but it started yesterday and got progressively worse. Fever, headache, chills, muscle aches, all signs of some kind of flu. I have been popping tylenol and drinking Gatorade all day. It feels like my head is about to pop, and my dog Ozzy is not much help.
I received several messages from friends and family encouraging me to maintain my current treatment stategy. I even got up early to go hunting, put on a pot of coffee, sat down in my recliner while my beverage brewed, and promptly fell asleep. Two hours later Ozzy woke me up laughing in my face, calling me a whimp. He questioned my manhood in allowing a little thing like sickness to keep me out of the woods. A few minutes ago I asked Ozzy to fetch me another Gatorade out of the fridge. He said if I was a real man I would get off my keester and go get my own drink... and while I was at it I should grab milkbone dog buiscut for him.
If any of you folks ever get sick, do not expect any sympathy from Ozzy. I will get better, and will bide my time until Ozzy catches some ailment. When he does, I'll watch him writhe around like a worm on a hook, and I will remind him of today. Revenge will be sweet, it will be righteous, and it will be without mercy!
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