I am not sure what channel we were tuned into, but it was late at night and I was dozing off. I did wake up at one point, and Ozzy was glued to a 1-900-livechicks tv ad. I nearly had to glue his eyes back into the sockets. I was wrong to believe I could settle him down and make him forget what he saw. After a brief lecture, I dozed off again.
When I came to, Ozzy was no longer sitting with me in my chair. I looked around the room to see if he was settled on another chair, but no such luck. Just then I heard someone talking, and the voice was coming from down the hallway. I followed the sound to the bathroom. I opened the door, and there sat Ozzy with the phone stuck to his ear.
As you might have guessed, Ozzy had some bimbo on the other end of the line. I have never heard a dog talk as much trash as my little pal. The poetry that rolled off his tongue would have made Shakespear envious. Unaware of my evesdropping, I startled him when I made my presence known. He quickly said goodbye, and hung up the phone.
"I think she loves me", he said. I had a difficult time convincing him these girls are paid to keep suckers like him engaged in conversation. He didn't believe me until I showed him the phone bill. "Uh-Oh", he said. Ozzy has promised never to do that again. Sworn oath aside, I am somewhat afraid to recieve next month's phone statement.
When it comes to the ladies, Ozzy is pretty weak!
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