"Bigfoot and Barbecue"!

Animal Planet ran a "Finding Bigfoot" marathon the other day. You folks might not understand, but this is nigh unto a Super Bowl celebration to Ozzy. He insisted that I provide a barbecue blow-out for the occasion. Barbecue pork, barbecue chicken, and Ozzy's favorite, Barbecue Baked Beans... Game On!

It didn't take long for the Bigfooters to hit the woods, while Ozzy scarfed down a huge bowl of baked beans (it was his third). The marathon was going to last several hours, and he didn't want to miss a single minute (I wished he would have waited until AFTER the shows were over). However, it wasn't long before things began to get interesting.

First,the foursome tried to imitate a bigfoot with their ridiculous "calls" (Ozzy said they sounded more like a Redneck searching for a date). Then, on one episode "BoBo" said Squatches were attracted to sing-alongs. We thought it was a joke until they actually tried to lure in a bigfoot while picking guitars and singing "We Are the World" around a campfire... and it only got worse.

The final episode of the evening Ozzy and I sat in amazement as the "researchers" claimed that Squatches can't resist fireworks. They actually set up a fake campsite, complete with "dummies" fully dressed and sitting in chairs. Meanwhile, the real "dummies" proceeded up to the top of the hill, and let loose with a Fourth-of-July style extravaganza.

Both of us sat there with a puzzled look on our barbecue stained faces. After using everything they could to lure a bigfoot, I wondered out loud what they might try next. That's when Ozzy came up with a brilliant suggestion..."By any chance would you have a match?", he asked.