Tuesday, May 1, 2012

"Promiscuous Shootin'"!

No matter how hard Ozzy tried to come up with the words to describe what happened, I believe "Destry" said it best. Recently my wife applied for a concealed weapon permit so she could take walks in the local park with some kind of protection. Before she is turned loose on an unsuspecting public, she is going to undergo firearms training. We could utilize one of the programs in Augusta, but she decided her former Army infantry husband should be up to the task. Reluctantly, I accepted. It took some time to rig targets for close-range combat live fire exercises. Ozzy volunteered to assist me, and although he knows nothing about firearms, he said he wouldn't miss this for the world. First, my wife had to become familiar with her weapon, since the sum of her knowledge was the bullet came out of the end of the barrel and into the bad guy. I have discovered that if a person is not mechanically inclined, learning the difference between semi-autos and revolvers can be a challenge. Actually learning to use the weapon in a variety of situations is time consuming, but worth the effort to make someone proficient in proper use of firearms. Realizing this was going to take longer than I thought, it is advisable to avoid distractions, ie, Ozzy. During our initial class, I had to constantly chastise Ozzy for playing with the equipment, which doubled my teaching time. Mimicing John Wayne was just one of his many antics. At one point I heard him ask "What's in here?", only to discover he was looking down the barrel of a Luger 9mm pistol. I won't even mention his picking up a round and tapping on the primer, wanting to know what would happen next. I have concluded that if Ozzy continues to be my assistant, I am going to have to re-write the infantry small arms handbook to include the "Ozzy Doctrine". Roughly translated it means "Safety Last"!.

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