"Poetry In Motion"!

I was reading poetry to my dog Ozzy. He said it made him want to gag. Actually, it's his fault. If he hadn't sent my wife a mushy text the other day, I wouldn't have felt obligated to write her a poem (I received my inspiration in the hardware section of the local Tractor Supply). It went like this: "Roses is red, violets is blue; You and me stick together like Contact Cement All-Purpose Adhesive"! Ozzy pulled his head out of the barf bag just long enough to scream, "That doesn't even rhyme, you Idiot"!

"Texting"!

I am trying to teach Ozzy how to send a text message over the cell phone. His little paws make it difficult, but the little dog is coming along. The other day he sent a text message to my wife... it went something like this: "Deer Mama, win are yoo coming home? Daddee has kooked dinnur, and he maid yoo sum cough-ee and doenutts for dezert. Pleeze hurree so we can eet. Luv, Ozzee"! Do not wurry... I am werking with him on hiz spelling. It will tayke a liddle tyme to git it rite!

"Love Me Tender"!

I have decided we can't watch "Major Payne" anymore. Evidently actor Daman Wayans has more influence on my dog Ozzy than I do. My wife was missing our son Jake, who is currently undergoing Army Basic Training at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. Jake has only been gone for two weeks, so she is still adjusting to his absence. As she sat moping, little Ozzy jumped on the couch, tenderly took my wife's hand, and looked warmly into her eyes. After getting a firm grip on her pinky, he giggled and said, "Want me to show you a little trick to help take your mind off that boy"!