Ozzy's Christmas List!

I recall searching frantically through the JC Penny and Sears catalogs for items to place on my list to Santa Claus. I figured since it didn't cost me anything I could load St. Nick down with a sleigh full of loot. One year I had over thirty toys, and very few were cheap. It became necessary for my parents to intervene and force me to minimize my list so other kids could receive something for Christmas. As it turns out, like father, like dog.

Ozzy submitted his list this morning, and it is so elaborate one would think we had climbed the corporate Christmas ladder. It contains some sensible items, but most are absolutely ridiculous. Ozzy can't shoot a basketball, so that's out. There's also no need for Santa to bring him a chainsaw, and until this morning I was unaware Ozzy could drive an Audi R8.

At this moment we are going through his list and repeating what I went through with my parents. I can't begin to describe Ozzy's expression, but he's got his arms folded and his lips poked out in a disgruntled posture. He'll get over this, but a few chew toys and squeaky critters is all he needs. This will teach Ozzy not to be so greedy, and it will make room in the sleigh for the individual who is actually going to receive the sportscar.